The hardest part is showing up.

I'm not sure how punctual I was prior to having kids, but I definitely run late now. Making sure all the snacks, entertainment, shoes, and stuffies are packed (in hindsight, we don't really need most of these things). And let's be real: some days are just harder than others to get everyone dressed and out the door.

I say all this to remind myself and you of one of my favorite reminders from Zabie Yamasaki: "I honor myself for showing up; I know so often that is the hardest part." Isn't this the truth? What if we took that rushed minute to pause and acknowledge, "This is a hard morning, and it's okay to move at a slower pace." Time, after all, is a social construct.

In my recent blog post, I shared the transition I've been leaning into, but I didn't truly capture what has helped get me here. I have some really supportive people in my life, which I will write about soon. But first, I want to capture the beautiful work of Zabie that has left an imprint on my heart and shifted my lens around rest and productivity.

I met Zabie over 10 years ago as I traveled with No Women Left Behind, speaking on college campuses. Since then, I have become an admirer of her work and life purpose, never knowing how her influence would reshape my thoughts on self-preservation and rest, and transform my nervous system by slowing down.

Zabie brings so much beauty and strength to her work, from supporting survivors of sexual assault to reminding us that in a world where hustling is glamorized, it is essential to slow down. Zabie brings her vulnerability into spaces to share some of her rawest, soul-crushing moments and her most magical, heartfelt glimmers. Thank you, Zabie, for sharing yourself with us. Your posts have an unseen rippling effect, transforming how myself and others are changing the way we move through this world.

After years of witnessing Zabie's work through social media, I finally had the honor to attend Zabie's Trauma-Informed Yoga training this past November. Both Zabie and I could feel the inner need for us to connect. This meant I would be away from my family from Friday through Sunday in the city. I needed to do all the mom things to prepare the family to survive while I was gone. Finally on the road, with no time to stop for food and just enough time to arrive at the training.

Ahh, I finally arrived. I can still feel the space in my bones. Greeted with a soft welcome, Zabie's warm greeting, and personal words of witnessing us in this space. We all got settled on our yoga mats, grounded on the floor. I wasn't prepared for what was about to be experienced. Zabie led us through a beautiful grounding practice that recognized all it took to arrive in this space, the need to constantly be the default nervous system in so many spaces, and gave us permission to show up for ourselves in this moment—no one else. These moments were for us, to be held, grounded, loved, and honored for all that we do and all that we are. Internally, my body knew and recognized all that Zabie spoke: the constant pull to show up for others in my work and family, yet how rare it is to fully show up for myself. Zabie created a space for me to show up and honor all of me. The tears naturally rolled down my cheeks. I knew at this moment I was exactly where I was supposed to be. This is a core memory for me.

After night one of the training, I finally returned to my room, taking space to rest, restore, and catch my breath. Did I mention Zabie's training started midday the next two days, allowing us, the students, to ease into the day? How thoughtful, right? Unfortunately, I woke up the next day with an unbearable migraine that completely shut my body down. I could barely move out of bed and was going to be late for day two of the training. I so desperately wanted to attend and be on time, but I kept reminding myself of Zabie's words: "The hardest part is showing up." I knew whenever I made it, Zabie would greet me with warm appreciation.

Reflecting back, I believe my body shut down on me after pushing myself so much to show up. I didn't even feed myself dinner the night before. And whoa—my body showed me what it thought of my self-neglect. But it couldn't have shut down in a safer space. So, finally, I felt better and was able to be present with other beautiful souls to experience Zabie and Christine's training. There were so many gems from this one weekend, a time when the world continued to be so heavy. Being in a space with others learning, embracing, and showing up to learn trauma-informed yoga practices, honoring our own light, our bodies, and our voices was transforming. Witnessing Zabie in this space, sharing the training she birthed while managing the roles of motherhood, was uplifting. I had such an appreciation for her sharing her time with us.

This training sparked a new curiosity. Zabie's shared work planted a seed for a new interest in yoga as a mom and therapist.

I share all this to highlight the magic in the little moments and the people we surround ourselves with, both in person and on social media. I've had various interactions with yoga and meditation since my college days, but this time with Zabie changed me. She rewatered that version of myself prior to becoming a mom—the version that lived with so much purpose and a clear vision of supporting the creation of a world that is kind and supportive to others. I love being a mom, and since my motherhood era, a new Sabrina was born, often feeling a disconnect. Zabie created a shift; that shift (with the support of my friends and loved ones) has continued to guide me toward a deeper personal connection to myself. About a month after the training, Zabie posted a Yoga Teacher Training rooted in Social Justice. Initially reading and learning about the training, I felt a connection and pull to enroll while questioning the commitment needed: Monday night classes, Wednesday calls, weekend retreats, and my own yoga practices… I am thankful for my friends and family who said, "Do it." They gave me the extra push I needed.

I chose to listen to the internal pull, committing to learning about the roots of yoga these past six months. I am proud to share that I will be graduating from my yoga training this upcoming weekend. Stick around to learn more about my yoga journey.

So, with all this said, I hope this example recognizes how hard it can be to show up, especially for the things we need or want the most. And even when we show up, we may not always be our best selves. But in the end, we showed up for ourselves, for our minds, our bodies, our souls, and our communities.

Next time you feel that inner voice or inner pull, pause. Sit with it. What do you need to support you in this moment? Will this bring you joy? Will this bring you peace? Choose for you. Show up for you.

Much love, Sabrina

Trauma -informed yoga affirmation card created by Zahabiyah A. Yamasaki and Illustrated by Evelyn Rosario Andry